Everything started off relatively well....apart from the standard barefooted trudge through bag control and being spot checked at every 'random suspecting a terrorist point' possible (my brand new iphone was treated to its first pap smear) After all that, a decent flight to Frankfurt, with the luxury of an empty seat beside me I decided to kill some time and head to maccies for a lemonade. I was pretty proud of myself for avoiding the big mac meal made large and distracted my temptations by looking through my flight itinary....! Minutes drifted by and I wasnt paying much (enough) attention to my surroundings. Some boy (max age 7) tried to Tom Daley it straight into my female region and grabbed hold of both my legs. A bit concerned about the paedophilic looking display i frantically looked around for the boys mother...nobody in sight. I tell him to get off...great, not English! Soon becomes clear that even if he was I doubt he would have understood me anyway! He grabs my passport (which i had stupidly left lying on the table, endless grief coming my way from mother about this one..) and makes his get away. Any normal person would probably have tried to stop him but I was still in shock at the fact I had nearly been sexually mollested by a small child Fortunately for me his attempted escape was a complete disaster...I probably shouldnt laugh but the combination of his poor choice in footwear and slippy floor worked to my advantage and I could only watch in awe as he skidded into the mcdonalds kitchen door, which happened to be simultaneously opening outwards. I quickly recovered my passport, cursing the previous removal of converse as i made my own slippery escape.
Moral of the story?
Always Order a Big Mac Meal made Large
Multiple hours and a trip sat with two homosexual frisky German boys later I finally arrived in Perth...its 4 degrees Celsius at night time....had no nipples left before I even reached the car. Cant say I was too impressed. However woke up to much better weather so kitted myself out in shorts and tshirt, feeling appropriately dressed....for about 0.374 seconds. (21 degrees is actually considered as cold in that place- genuinely saw one guy dressed prepared for a trip to the arctic circle!) We made way to Kings Park, which was about 30 minute walk away and located nicely for looking out over the city and ocean...so im told. We in fact arrived to the sights of some guy in a car strapped to gas canisters threatening to blow himself up....actually no I lie, we just saw the car (average white 5 door.) I know I had been wondering myself if life was worth living about 3/4 of the way up the horrendous hill leading towards it so I could kind of sympathise and relate to his current situation but come on...could have chosen not to position the car in the spot with the best views. The police were swarming to make sure there was a 100m distance to him but we still managed to get a prime viewing spot....exciting for about 3 minutes til we realised we could in fact have watching a stationary car, on a flat surface, without calves that burned. Even better when a news reporter comes over asking whats happened....youre supposed to be telling us love? Cant get the staff these days....! After about an hour of waiting I was beginning to wish we had sacked sight seeing off and just headed to a maccies....I had basically sweated about 3 litres, ripped my shin splints to shreds, seen none of the promised views and (dont judge me i was tired) no car bombing.
(for more information on the event select this link)
Moral of the story?
Should Have Gone to Maccies and Ordered a Big Mac Meal made Large
The best thing about Perth is how cheap it is...NAHT! Genuinely may aswell walk around that place with your trousers constantly round your ankles. In what planet is $16 acceptable for about 4 ferrero rochers? Good bloody job I dont eat them...anyway we decided to get out of the city for a day, hire a car and head down the coast towards the winerys and into the nature a bit more. I had learned from previous experiences and decided fast food was the only option for my day (subway...foot long...) We reached our destination by the Margaret River after approx 3 hours (i obviously slept the whole way and blamed it on jetlag...) Beautiful little town serving up a gorgeous apple cider!! The river itself was pretty with lots of overhanging trees and the kids playground was full of sexually innuendoed gym equipment.
Great family day out i imagine...? The sun began to set and we headed back towards Perth, stopping after 25km or so to view the sunset over Geographe Bay, obviously eat some more fast food (fish and chips $6...trousers up!!) and to look out across the stars. Lee decided it would be perfectly appropriate to display the beauty of Australia in all its glory...milky way out, trousers down!
Moral of the story?
Should have gone home after the fish and chips
To view more of Lee's photography skills like his facebook page http://www.facebook.com/LjDivinePhotography?ref=ts
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| Margaret River |
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| Photography by LJ Divine Photography |
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| Photography by LJ Divine Photography |
Should have gone home after the fish and chips
To view more of Lee's photography skills like his facebook page http://www.facebook.com/LjDivinePhotography?ref=ts
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